I need… Wednesday, Sep 24 2008 

…to get dinner done early, sweep and mop the kitchen, put the dishes away, load the dishwasher, rotate the laundry, work for a couple of hours, get started on the leaves in the front yard, put away the clean laundry, take Evan to football, sort out Grandmother’s pills because her blood pressure’s screwed up, vacuum, wipe down the bathrooms, dust the glass shelves over the bar….

It’s 4:00. I turned in shitty, late work and I’m going to probably really hear about it, from myself even more than my boss.

This is why I’m always behind. This is why I’m always on the edge of a breakdown. How does one catch up on this kind of chaos? I know Flylady can help but for some reason I can’t get with that program either.

And this doesn’t even include the biggest things like improving our relationships and getting our money straight. I don’t even know where to start and I want a cigarette and a shot of something. Oh, and I kind of want to cry ;-(

UPDATE:  My Hero read this and ran home to make sure I was OK and help me out, even though he had his own nasty day. “What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man…”

A New Beginning Monday, Sep 8 2008 

For lots of reasons I renamed my blog “the reinvention of me”. I’ll be 36 on Wednesday and I’m marking a new beginning. I’m going to spend more quality time with my boys, I’m giong to quit smoking and drinking so much and I’m going to eat healthier. Oh yes, and rededicate myself to Flylady and getting my house in order. Now that I put it “on paper” it seems like a lot to take on at once.

Grandmother….again, yes Tuesday, Sep 2 2008 

She’s back in the hospital with fluid on her lungs exacerbated by emphysema and CHF.  Will have a catheterization tomorrow to see if they can fix any blockage, or if there’s no blockage, or if she needs a bypass or whatever.  Keep the prayers coming.

UPDATE no blockage!!  She’s dong well.