Evan on Drugs Update Wednesday, Oct 29 2008 

It’s a miracle.  He can focus, but he’s still got his spirit.  He has not gotten into trouble one time at school, as opposed to almost every day before.  His handwriting is improving and he’s making new friends.  This was such a difficult decision and I can’t believe how well it’s gone.

Mental Health Wednesday, Oct 1 2008 

I don’t know if I should blog about this, but I need to. Evan’s a nut. He’s super hyper, but he also is brilliant and has a vibrant spirit. You take the good with the not-as-good I suppose.

When he was in preschool we had him “evaluated” for ADHD. Basically the pediatrician gave us a form, one for us and one for his teacher with whom he spent 3 hours twice a week. Based on this form, he diagnosed ADHD, as well as ODD (John says well of course he’s odd, tell us something new) and possibly borderline CD.

The pediatrician said, based on this form, that at the age of only 4 he needed medication and prescribed focalin.  I asked if we could get a second opinion, upon which he sent us to a neurologist who only echoed what the pediatrician said.

We ended up not putting him on the medication, but instead trying to understand him, not give him much sugar, little stuff like that.  Fast-forward to Kindergarten and he did really well.  He had issues but his teacher was a rock star and was willing to work with him.  He came out even smarter and fairly well-adjusted.

Our story has changed.  He can’t control himself lately.  He screams randomly.  He is mean and aggressive to the dogs and sometimes even to me.  For the most part he gets along with other kids but he gets on their nerves. He has already been labeled “that kid” by his teacher I’m sure.  His teacher, by the way, apparently believes that his behavior is due to him being an only child. WTF?  I digress…

I walked out of the school cookout in tears because I was so humiliated by his behavior.  He had the whole table hollering about how he thought the lunch lady was “hot” (she is), and just generally being mean and obnoxious; totally ignoring both the teacher and me.

As you know if you’ve been reading, he and I have both been seeing a counselor, and she wholeheartedly agrees with me that he got ripped of on his first evaluation and we need to start all over.

At this point I’m not as opposed to drugging him either.  I just want to be sure it is necessary and will help his particular situation.  I’m terrified that he will lose himself and not be fun any more.  I don’t want a zombie.  I want Evan, only a little nicer.

I have been hunting for the right shrink, and have found that the Austin area is desperate for pediatric mental health professionals.  Maybe that’s what I’ll be when I grow up…again I digress.  I thought I’d found a dream come true in the Austin Child Guidance Center , so I excitedly called and had Evan placed on the waiting list; the ten to twelve week long waiting list. *sigh*

The whole point of this short story made longer is that the only other child psychiatrist I could find was Dr. William Streusand.  I couldn’t find any information on him, so I reached out to a list serv and got only one reply, but that person was gushing about him.  I called to get an appointment and was informed that his office had moved to The Texas Child Study Center .  Cha-CHING!  Just like the other place only NEW and SHINY and filled with young, innovative Longhorns just waiting to turn my child into his better self!

The BEST part is upon reading the article I discovered that the elusive Dr. Streusand is the CHIEF OF PSYCHIATRY at the Children’s Medical Center.  Who’d’a thunkit??

So I’m nervous, relieved, excited for us.  Now we just need to win the lottery because we have to file insurance ourselves, and the initial evaluation on Monday – yes, we got in to see the Chief on MONDAY – is $400+.  Say a prayer and all that, and if you read this far you are rewarded with a SNICKERDOODLE.

UPDATE:  We have to spend $750 oop before insurance kicks in.  We don’t have that.  I think I might cry.  Again.

The Upcoming Weekend Thursday, Sep 25 2008 

I just realized that Evan has Monday off of school!! It’s like washing your jeans and finding money in the dryer.  We’ll have to do something fun.

Fall is here.  I’m so grateful to live in a older neighborhood where we actually have a YARD and big TREES, until Autumn hits.  I guess we’ll have more “playing in the piles of leaves taller than Evan” pics to share, but making the piles is NOT FUN.  And it doesn’t end until spring.  Hmph.

I need… Wednesday, Sep 24 2008 

…to get dinner done early, sweep and mop the kitchen, put the dishes away, load the dishwasher, rotate the laundry, work for a couple of hours, get started on the leaves in the front yard, put away the clean laundry, take Evan to football, sort out Grandmother’s pills because her blood pressure’s screwed up, vacuum, wipe down the bathrooms, dust the glass shelves over the bar….

It’s 4:00. I turned in shitty, late work and I’m going to probably really hear about it, from myself even more than my boss.

This is why I’m always behind. This is why I’m always on the edge of a breakdown. How does one catch up on this kind of chaos? I know Flylady can help but for some reason I can’t get with that program either.

And this doesn’t even include the biggest things like improving our relationships and getting our money straight. I don’t even know where to start and I want a cigarette and a shot of something. Oh, and I kind of want to cry ;-(

UPDATE:  My Hero read this and ran home to make sure I was OK and help me out, even though he had his own nasty day. “What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man…”

A New Beginning Monday, Sep 8 2008 

For lots of reasons I renamed my blog “the reinvention of me”. I’ll be 36 on Wednesday and I’m marking a new beginning. I’m going to spend more quality time with my boys, I’m giong to quit smoking and drinking so much and I’m going to eat healthier. Oh yes, and rededicate myself to Flylady and getting my house in order. Now that I put it “on paper” it seems like a lot to take on at once.

I don’t even know what to say. Friday, Aug 29 2008 

My good friends’ months old baby has a tumor.  My friends who practically killed themselves and practically went broke to have this baby. Some kind of vascular tumor behind her eyes, non-life-threatening but apparently she could lose her sight.  I can’t even imagine.

Sarah Palin Friday, Aug 29 2008 

All the other scandals, oil, gas and whatnot aside, who leaves a disabled baby to go run for Vice President?  And the party is all about Family Values?  She a shitty mom.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Scary! Friday, Aug 29 2008 

John woke me up last night shaking the bed with uncontrollable shivering and pain in ALL of his joints. We put him in the tub and finally got him warmed up. He went back to sleep but is still achy. The weird thing is no fever, not even a suspicion of a fever.

He feels mostly better today, just still sore so I guess I won’t take him in to the doc yet. My hero ;-(

UPDATE well he took a Vicodin early this morning which contributed to his feeling better and then he started to feel ooky again, so I let him have another Vicodin but tomorrow he has to go to the doc.  Damn it all.  I hope he’s OK.  He says it feels like the flu but how can it be the flu with no fever or other symptoms?

UPDATE got really bad again today and ended up going into the ER, where they gave him a SPINAL TAP to check for viral MENINGITIS. Holy $h1t!  He does NOT have meningitis, thank God, but it IS viral, so he can’t do anything but take Vicodin and wait it out under warm blankets.  At least they gave him a refill.  Whatever they gave him in his IV seems to be helping for the time being tonight.  WOW.

First grade. Wednesday, Aug 27 2008 

Well, these are crappy because they’re phone pics (I hope my new Blackberry takes better pics than this stupid Sidekick I’ve been using because my camera’s broken). Also, they were actually taken after school, so you don’t get to see his matching black and white camo backpack and lunchbox, but anyway here he is. He’s actually very cute. He just doesn’t like being photographed any more for some reason.
We did decide to go on in because after he yakked he felt much better and fell straight to sleep with no more incidents. We just told him not to say anything about it at school. Evil lessons, I know. He seemed to have a grand ole time and liked his teacher, but he said he though recess would be longer?

The therapist! Friday, Aug 8 2008 

We found her. We LOVE her. She has TWO ACTIVE BOYS and specializes in kids and women!!

Evan and I will both be seeing her separately. She can’t believe I’ve never been in therapy with all my anxiety. And she is going to work with Evan — he’s been obsessed with dying lately. He’s been around several deaths in his short life so I don’t blame him. It’s so cool to get to have great-grandparents because so many kids don’t, but that’s the consequence. He had four when he was born and now he has one, plus he was devasted when we lost Shelby.  An aside, I HIGHLY recommend “Dog Heaven” and “Cat Heaven” books for kids who lose pets.  It helped him a lot.

We’re going to revisit the ADHD question. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago, but we decided not to put him on meds and he did really well in Kinder, so we’re going to kind of start over from the beginning once he gets into first grade and see where he is now.

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